Hidden,

Hi all, haven't been blogging for some time eh. Haha. Actually I did, but not here. It's private haha! Anyways, I'm still having promos now (ending on tue) so I should be studying but then.......

What's the use? :( I'm stupid, motherfucking stupid. I can't study for nuts. A total failure. I should just die. And know what? I fucking screwed up my exams. Awesome much? I have a feeling that I'll be getting 0 H2 passes. How terrible. Even the subject that I'm more confident in passing just killed me straight at my heart. I really wonder how much have I done this year that will actually pull me up?

NONE.

Failed class tests, never hand up assignments, plus I never cared a single hoot about the thing called class participation (i think it's a total crap).....

It's not working out for me. Yeah so what if the teachers think I can do well & blah blah? I'm not even supposed to be in the top 10% thingy last year. It's fucking dumb to the max. Now I'm like the bottom 10% already. Useless shit.


現在就好像是在做好心理準備似的, 可能不會升級。雖然這並不是我想要的, 但是也要坦然地面對。其實我根本對這閒學校沒有抱任何的希望。A 水準會考如果不能報讀新加坡大學也只不過是張廢紙。與其浪費 3 年去考一張廢紙出來, 不如浪費 2 年算了? 說實在的, 我對自己一點信心都沒有...

To me, I don't feel a single sense of belonging to this school. How am I supposed to be motivated when even the principal says that only 30% gets into local universities while 5% gets their dream course? :( Really really fails to motivate people..... Like me.


If this is really a goodbye, then so be it.
Sorry.


PS/ After the exams may be changing blogskin again. At least that's where I still have interest in. Web design. And I miss my Vaio fucking much, especially Photoshop! :( I'm deprived of it, now I think my old skills are fucking rusty already.